Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I could make wine with my vomit
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Two words: nipple clamps
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