All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
