Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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