you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
