dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
