True but thats because hes a fetus.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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