Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
