were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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