my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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