I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
