I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
