We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
