i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
it's like iHOP with fire
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
