i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
