Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
