Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
