I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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