Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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