dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
