That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
