Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.