i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
