Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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