in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
