talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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