You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
