WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
