A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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