i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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