I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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