Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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