I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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