everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
