Me. At least after what I've been through.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
