OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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