ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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