guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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