You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
