More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
