guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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