Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
