You're completely useless in the revolution.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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