How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
