Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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