17 year olds will be the death of me.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
