"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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