if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
