How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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