Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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