you guys were way drunker than both of me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
