end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
