I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
