How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize