i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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