Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
