Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
