Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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