When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
